Be Pro Stuff
In 2018 I took a job that had me move out of my home town. A place I had lived, outside of 6 years of college, for nearly three decades at that point. It was a good opportunity, provided a far better situation than that one I was in. It was a $13K increase in salary. I was going to have benefits and insurance for the first time in a few years. The job itself had opportunity to grow. I was going to be able to zero out my debt. There were so many positives to the move. I was running away from a negative environment though, not running towards a good one. I was running from depression that was lingering following losing two jobs, getting divorced, racking up over $20K in debt. All I could think about was what I was running from. I was so focused on trying to avoid the negatives, that all I thought about were the negatives themselves. And I spent the next couple years perplexed because nothing changed. Unhappiness was still there. Poor money management. Lack of community. Displeasure with the job. All I could fixate on was trying to avoid the bad stuff. Focusing only on the negatives, even in the sense of trying to avoid them, directs all your energy and steers your life in that direction.
There’s a huge difference between trying to win and trying to not lose. When you play to not lose, the focus remains on the possibility of losing. And despite the old adage, defense does not win championships. Trying to not lose, is constantly looking behind you, keeping your eyes focused only on where you’re not trying to go. You know how this works from driving a car or riding a bike. You move in the direction you look. No matter how hard you try to hold the course, if you constantly look off in a certain direction, it is inevitable that you will steer in that direction. Trying to not lose, introducing the concept of losing into the equation, focusing on it, keeps your eyes maintained in that direction. Trying to not lose, ultimately ends up in losing. Playing to win though, that keeps your eyes forward. It doesn’t allow losing to be an option. Playing to win, regardless of the outcome, results in forward progress.
If you know me, you know I don’t like to talk about things that I’m not into. I don’t like to talk about things I don’t like or find enjoyment in or that annoy me. I like to talk about fitness and comicbooks and superheroes and books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched and TV shows and music and areas that I’m making progress in and areas that my friends and family are making progress in. I like to talk about the things I’m into and the things that make me happy and the things that make those I love happy. This is a very intentional decision on my part. I don’t want my conversations and my thoughts to circulate around things that are bummers, things that make me sad or angry. I choose to focus on the things that I think are cool. That’s where I want my attention to go, that’s what I want to give my energy to, that’s the direction I choose to steer my life. Focusing on the opposite only invites more of the things that are bummers.
Be pro stuff. Not anti stuff. The things that you give your attention to, where your focus and energy lies, that’s what’s going to dominate your life. Playing to not lose, the focus, whether you like or not, is on the loss. Talking about all the things you hate, especially in the sense why those things are bad, only leads to those things becoming more prevalent in your life. What you pay attention to, you start to notice more of. Playing to win, focusing on the win, results in more successes. Being pro stuff, in all your conversations, leads to more of those things in your life. Giving attention and energy to all the things you love changes the interactions you have with others and the conversations you have with yourself. There’s no room for negativity in a pro stuff environment. When you play to win, the possibility of losing never comes into focus. Be pro stuff.